My drug is almost here. A user returning to the source. The day I get to return to Facebook. Turns out that my personal strength is stronger than I thought. 46 tormenting days of no social network--it is possible. So now for my final thoughts regarding this experience bringing my blog to a close and hopefully my book to life.
Knowing that in approximately an hour and a half I will be linked to over 500 people as my so-called friends, I find myself overwhelmed with nerves. Its strange I know to say that, but considering I have for almost the past 7 weeks been isolated to myself, not worrying about what anyone else was doing with their lives, but my own. It sort of feels like Im taking on that part time job again and it seems like a lot of work. Balancing your "Facebook Page" as far as updates is exhausting--honestly not something I am looking forward to at all. The re-vamping may not happen tonight, depends on how I receive the ambush of statuses and check what Im assuming to be a large wad of notifications. Those little red flags are no longer seeming to be 'welcoming' but rather a bother.
Perhaps my rehabilitation went according to plan and I no longer wish to spend my life on Facebook. As per one of my last entries, I need to maintain a balance of who I am and who I want to be seen as. Real. I cannot allow myself to get sucked in again, but use it as what I feel it can be used best for, a resource for communication. Not a narration of my life. I also can feel the temptations of who I will stalk as soon as I get back on. But more importantly I am acknowledging who I have avoided for 7 weeks and honestly am afraid to see how their lives have changed 'without me'. I don't want to know. Ever have those people that always seem to be on your list of people to check when you sign on. Well I don't want that list anymore. It is the time for change.
Overall this experience has taught me the many many uses for social networking, most of which we have now become solely dependent on. Yes I maintained my friends in real life and was able to talk to everyone while transferring information. But it was probably 5 times harder than if I had simply been on the same website with them only a click away. As the years continue forward, students and children of today will only know how to Facebook. They will not remember what it was like before this or Twitter or Myspace and other social networks. They will entrap themselves in that part time job of updating meaningless information for the sake of staying in the loop. This is not what I want to be, a drone or slave to a URL. I only hope that upon me signing in, my profile doesn't blow up and I do not immediately feel overwhelmed. No idea how I am going to organize my notifications considering as soon as I click on it, I know they will all disappear. Shit. What a mess I've created. So note to anyone else out there looking to take on this challenge. De-activate your account if you do this. Test yourself and your life. Can you and your relationships survive the absence of this immediate form of communication that we so willing succumb to? Can you find solitude a welcoming friend or depressing reality. My time away has now come to a close and yes I am excited to be part of the gang again, part of the world. Sad to say this, but its true. I am a kid returning home from summer camp and all my friends are waiting to throw me a party. Ha. Okay not exactly but the delayed and absent messages will greet me. Has my image been trashed? Have people written inappropriate notes on my wall? Do I still have all my 'friends'? Only time can tell. Who knows maybe this act of release will have proven to be more fulfilling than the original drug and inspire me to delete my page once and for all... Nah prob not. Ha.
It feels like Christmas morning and I can not wait to open my presents. See you in the virtual world.
Saturday, April 23, 2011
Friday, April 22, 2011
Day 45: Tomorrow.
Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow.Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow.Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow.Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow.Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow.Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow.Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow.Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow.Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow.Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow.Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow.Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow.Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow.Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow.Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow.Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow.
I feel as if so many people have forgotten about me already. I wonder if anyone notices that I still haven't been online. Ha. Strange.
I feel as if so many people have forgotten about me already. I wonder if anyone notices that I still haven't been online. Ha. Strange.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Day 42: Jekyll & Hyde
I find myself fighting, with myself-- rejecting the change. The old me who doesnt want to let go completely of what I had, an old friend visiting once again on Saturday. And yet the new me tired of impressing others and trying to convince them and possibly myself of who I am. What do I have to lose? I find that I dont know what to use facebook for anymore--if I ever truly did have a designated use. Networking for jobs? dating? friends? Is it possible to use it for all those while maintaining the image of me? Perhaps that is where the problem lies. I have been lying for so long about who I am, I dont know anymore. I should be able to balance all of these personas and yet I am worried I cant. Afraid that with one I will sacrifice the others. Perhaps I should do what I know some people do and portray myself as having deficits, weaknesses, being a boring person. Almost a sarcastic tone to life as to hide who I am and then when others actually meet me and engage me, they are surprised. Is it not a famous saying that says to fear the ones that dont intimidate you, that you dont feel threatened by? The portrayed innocent and timid ones are always the masterminds of power.
But then I cant help but think, who cares?! Who seriously cares how many friends you have? Who cares that you do outdoorsy things? Who cares that you had a crazy weekend and passed out in the bathtub? Ha. That's just it. No one does. Its there for the moment to transfer a thought, maybe send a message. Over time those message build into false judgments and then what? People react. Sex, hate, envy, pity. These are the true feelings people begin to feel. Our friends we thought we had are now puppets to stand beside us. The guys and girls we obsessed over notice the extent of our intentions and abilities. Who cares. Actions speak louder than words and pictures and 'likeable' pages. BE who you say you are. DO what you say you do. That is the real test anymore. Back to the basics. The complexity of culture is too much that we have now come back full circle. First attempting to be something out of this world--advanced and modern. Then its a maze to find our way back to simplicity, what really matters. Truth. Honor. Trust. How hard it is to rely on these anymore. Corruption indeed. We are looking so hard into the future we have forgotten about the present. Our entertaining lives distract us from what is real and lasting.
I'm tired of pretending that I care, when I really don't.
But then I cant help but think, who cares?! Who seriously cares how many friends you have? Who cares that you do outdoorsy things? Who cares that you had a crazy weekend and passed out in the bathtub? Ha. That's just it. No one does. Its there for the moment to transfer a thought, maybe send a message. Over time those message build into false judgments and then what? People react. Sex, hate, envy, pity. These are the true feelings people begin to feel. Our friends we thought we had are now puppets to stand beside us. The guys and girls we obsessed over notice the extent of our intentions and abilities. Who cares. Actions speak louder than words and pictures and 'likeable' pages. BE who you say you are. DO what you say you do. That is the real test anymore. Back to the basics. The complexity of culture is too much that we have now come back full circle. First attempting to be something out of this world--advanced and modern. Then its a maze to find our way back to simplicity, what really matters. Truth. Honor. Trust. How hard it is to rely on these anymore. Corruption indeed. We are looking so hard into the future we have forgotten about the present. Our entertaining lives distract us from what is real and lasting.
I'm tired of pretending that I care, when I really don't.
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Day 40: JK
Dearest Blog,
A few days ago I was elated with joy as the final week on my mission came to a close, upon which my eldest sister decided to bring some news to my attention. You see being raised Catholic myself, the whole premise of the testing of one's strength lies in that of Lent. Where you give up something that means a lot to you and that you may indulge or depend on for comfort or enjoyment. The absence of this item or act is to remind you of the temptations we live with, the testing of oneself and faith, as well as a reminder of the big Man upstairs and the journey He went through. As a person aware of the overlap between cultural habits and practices, I wish to keep any connotation of a religious standpoint aside for this experiment. However, whilst I was counting to forty with each passing day, my sister reminded me that during Lent one does not only go for 40 consecutive days, but rather 46 since Sundays are considered Holy and not counted.
Yes. 46 days to be exact. Meaning that I have made the initial goal of 40 days, but in order to fulfill my sacrifice for lent and rightfully finish my challenge, I have an extended deadline until sunset Saturday. FML. Oh how I wish I could just bend the rules, but for the sake of showing self-restraint and proving many a points, I intend to remain clean for another 5 days.
As my journey continues I begin to realize the entrapment that Facebook and many other social networks offer. You see as of 5 weeks ago I abandoned certain people who were that of high interest to me and vice versa. Yet despite my vacation from the social network, other forms of communication create opportunity. As predicted but not expected, some individuals have used alternate modes of communication to get ahold of me. No matter how hard I have tried to leave behind my virtual life, it lingers and follows me. Those who I left behind have found me--via Skype, Email, Texts etc. We no longer can be alone, unless of course we lock ourselves in a room without technology. People can find and reach out to you in so many ways because of our electronic signals. It has given my perspectives on "Goodbyes" a whole new meaning. Before it may have been an absolute, meaning that you could very well never see this person again. After high school we all disappear, you move out of state or worse out of the country and could very well never be heard from again. Not anymore. Nothing is ever finished. The exes you breakup with, the one that got away, the friend you stopped talking to, and the cousin your family disowned--they are all accessible in some way shape or form.
So the people I left behind several weeks ago in hopes of moving on or giving my brain a break from their presence, returned to haunt me. Nothing is ever finished. And with this new realization I feel a sense of calm to let go of more, knowing that connection/communication and people have entered a new age where nothing is ever really over between two people but paused until further notice. One thing is for sure in the modernization and culture of people, Change is Constant.
My appreciation for Facebook and other areas of life that link us to one another in an accessible and easy format has most definitely grown. However my attachment to the site has dramatically lowered. I now plan on what I will do as an action of prevention from falling back into the droned state I was previously. Facebook is not real life, but a resource. Therefore should be treated as such. My list of friends to add has ceased, now knowing that it doesn't matter unless they serve a purpose in my life longterm. My current friends are dwindling in my head count as we speak, which many are in for a rude awakening. And my connections to friends will without a doubt improve but not necessarily make us better friends.
Interestingly enough, while discussing my sacrifice to my mother, and the steps I have gone through as well as the blog entries documented--she made the reference of my experience to that of a grieving process post death. The phases of which I seem to be going through according to her are as follows: 1. Denial 2. Anger 3. Bargaining 4. Depression 5. Acceptance.
Parts of these may apply but more so I find the stages of drug rehabilitation to fit more accurately: 1. Acceptance/Admittance 2. Understanding/Awareness of the problem 3. Making a decision to change and planning steps to ensure this occurs 4. Learning skills to cope 5. Gradual incorporation of 'normal' life. There you have it, Im a rehabilitated drug addict. Thanks Facebook for the identity crisis and life evaluation. Ha. Just kidding of course. But yet this realization still holds some truth. Not only myself, but many other people use Facebook too damn much. After all, sometimes too much of a good thing can be bad. It has become the drug we like to abuse, the friends we pretend to have, the life we wish we lived, and metaphorically the candy we over consume. And I think we all know what happens when you eat too much candy...
A few days ago I was elated with joy as the final week on my mission came to a close, upon which my eldest sister decided to bring some news to my attention. You see being raised Catholic myself, the whole premise of the testing of one's strength lies in that of Lent. Where you give up something that means a lot to you and that you may indulge or depend on for comfort or enjoyment. The absence of this item or act is to remind you of the temptations we live with, the testing of oneself and faith, as well as a reminder of the big Man upstairs and the journey He went through. As a person aware of the overlap between cultural habits and practices, I wish to keep any connotation of a religious standpoint aside for this experiment. However, whilst I was counting to forty with each passing day, my sister reminded me that during Lent one does not only go for 40 consecutive days, but rather 46 since Sundays are considered Holy and not counted.
Yes. 46 days to be exact. Meaning that I have made the initial goal of 40 days, but in order to fulfill my sacrifice for lent and rightfully finish my challenge, I have an extended deadline until sunset Saturday. FML. Oh how I wish I could just bend the rules, but for the sake of showing self-restraint and proving many a points, I intend to remain clean for another 5 days.
As my journey continues I begin to realize the entrapment that Facebook and many other social networks offer. You see as of 5 weeks ago I abandoned certain people who were that of high interest to me and vice versa. Yet despite my vacation from the social network, other forms of communication create opportunity. As predicted but not expected, some individuals have used alternate modes of communication to get ahold of me. No matter how hard I have tried to leave behind my virtual life, it lingers and follows me. Those who I left behind have found me--via Skype, Email, Texts etc. We no longer can be alone, unless of course we lock ourselves in a room without technology. People can find and reach out to you in so many ways because of our electronic signals. It has given my perspectives on "Goodbyes" a whole new meaning. Before it may have been an absolute, meaning that you could very well never see this person again. After high school we all disappear, you move out of state or worse out of the country and could very well never be heard from again. Not anymore. Nothing is ever finished. The exes you breakup with, the one that got away, the friend you stopped talking to, and the cousin your family disowned--they are all accessible in some way shape or form.
So the people I left behind several weeks ago in hopes of moving on or giving my brain a break from their presence, returned to haunt me. Nothing is ever finished. And with this new realization I feel a sense of calm to let go of more, knowing that connection/communication and people have entered a new age where nothing is ever really over between two people but paused until further notice. One thing is for sure in the modernization and culture of people, Change is Constant.
My appreciation for Facebook and other areas of life that link us to one another in an accessible and easy format has most definitely grown. However my attachment to the site has dramatically lowered. I now plan on what I will do as an action of prevention from falling back into the droned state I was previously. Facebook is not real life, but a resource. Therefore should be treated as such. My list of friends to add has ceased, now knowing that it doesn't matter unless they serve a purpose in my life longterm. My current friends are dwindling in my head count as we speak, which many are in for a rude awakening. And my connections to friends will without a doubt improve but not necessarily make us better friends.
Interestingly enough, while discussing my sacrifice to my mother, and the steps I have gone through as well as the blog entries documented--she made the reference of my experience to that of a grieving process post death. The phases of which I seem to be going through according to her are as follows: 1. Denial 2. Anger 3. Bargaining 4. Depression 5. Acceptance.
Parts of these may apply but more so I find the stages of drug rehabilitation to fit more accurately: 1. Acceptance/Admittance 2. Understanding/Awareness of the problem 3. Making a decision to change and planning steps to ensure this occurs 4. Learning skills to cope 5. Gradual incorporation of 'normal' life. There you have it, Im a rehabilitated drug addict. Thanks Facebook for the identity crisis and life evaluation. Ha. Just kidding of course. But yet this realization still holds some truth. Not only myself, but many other people use Facebook too damn much. After all, sometimes too much of a good thing can be bad. It has become the drug we like to abuse, the friends we pretend to have, the life we wish we lived, and metaphorically the candy we over consume. And I think we all know what happens when you eat too much candy...
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Day 33: Sunday is deemed Facebook Fun-day.
So close, yet so far. Story of my life. Next Sunday I will be able to sign on to my long lost love. In which, without a doubt, I will spend the entire day online.
As I sit in Starbucks in Scottsdale, I begin to re-think the journey I have gone through and the lessons I have learned along the way. No worries, I am not writing my final entry just yet, summarizing my learned lessons and las perspectives on this website we are all concern about. However, I have noticed that I genuinely miss Facebook. As unhealthy as it may be for us, I am beginning to understand the reason behind the infatuation. When others are online, people feel noticed, liked, and cared for. It is these reasons that we return again and again. Repeat offenders. Yes we are creating false perceptions and judgments but as long as they make us feel 'okay' most of the time, we don't care.
With this in mind, as long as something makes us feel good--does that make it okay? If the nerdy thespian from high school who had no friends and smelled, is able to feel superior and popular with 900+ fake friends, let them. If the cool-kid whose friends all do drugs and stupid shit wants to post South Park episodes to get others to laugh, let him. Or if the girl who is never hit on and hates her physical appearance, can create a false image to hide behind just to talk to other guys, why shouldn't she? I suppose that is the beauty of the site, you use it for whatever you want. The addiction is not cursed upon us all--even though I believe most succumb to the over indulgence and corruption.
As I sit in Starbucks in Scottsdale, I begin to re-think the journey I have gone through and the lessons I have learned along the way. No worries, I am not writing my final entry just yet, summarizing my learned lessons and las perspectives on this website we are all concern about. However, I have noticed that I genuinely miss Facebook. As unhealthy as it may be for us, I am beginning to understand the reason behind the infatuation. When others are online, people feel noticed, liked, and cared for. It is these reasons that we return again and again. Repeat offenders. Yes we are creating false perceptions and judgments but as long as they make us feel 'okay' most of the time, we don't care.
With this in mind, as long as something makes us feel good--does that make it okay? If the nerdy thespian from high school who had no friends and smelled, is able to feel superior and popular with 900+ fake friends, let them. If the cool-kid whose friends all do drugs and stupid shit wants to post South Park episodes to get others to laugh, let him. Or if the girl who is never hit on and hates her physical appearance, can create a false image to hide behind just to talk to other guys, why shouldn't she? I suppose that is the beauty of the site, you use it for whatever you want. The addiction is not cursed upon us all--even though I believe most succumb to the over indulgence and corruption.
So my little stunt started off as a fun and meaningless test but Im noticing that as personal issues arise in my own life I feel the urge to sign-on. In result Im finding I use facebook as a support system. Knowing that others are going through similar things that I am, helps in a misery-loves-company sort of way as well as provides the opportunity for advice. Whether that advice comes through comments of friends or chat messages. I'll admit I miss the fake friendships and fake comments, even if the individuals posting really don't care. If it fills the void for a moment, it helps. A smile whether it is fake or real, is after all still a smile. Is it not?
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Day 31: Delete, Delete, Delete.
Oh friends. Easy come easy go. It appears that I am affecting the smallest number of people, but people nonetheless. As of lately I haven't been avid about posting everyday, and honestly its because I don't think about Facebook as much anymore. The largest deficit that I have noticed is the ability to get mass amounts of social news at once on a regular basis. Basically my life has become simplified by 1,000,000,000. However, this news has had little to no affect on my life with its void. Proving that the bullshit that people post is for momentary satisfaction or a good conversation starter/facilitator.
Through my minor influence a friend of mine actually decided to go through his list of FB friends, just as I plan to do, and clean house. This friend began with well over 1,000 FB friends mind you, and half way through the alphabet actually had deleted approximately 300 friends. When asked which ones he deleted, he said the creepy ones, those with unrecognizable birthdays, and the ones that he randomly met and no longer really cared to keep in contact with.
This got me thinking about who I was going to delete when I got back on. Sadly as seen in my last posted video, if we all have 856 friends we are probably lying to ourselves and really only have 4. Four close friends that we actually make an effort to see, hangout with, ask for advice, or text during the week. Everyone else in my opinion is simply there for entertainment--for those moments when you are bored and welcome any distraction, whether it be a popping chat or an ant crawling up the side of your bedroom wall. Yes I just compared the insignificant 'filler' friends to ants. The people I am discussing are those who you really do not notice are gone until they post something worth reading. When evaluating my friendships I plan on deleting the following people:
1. People who I honestly do not know. I have no clue how they got added to my friends list in the first place and therefore should not be there, unless you're really cute.
2. People who added me just because we met once or have mutual friends--no that does not entitle you to a front seat ticket to my life; I merely was trying to stalk and judge you before I actually had to talk to you.
3. People with annoying posts about their children. I don't have any and don't plan on them anytime soon so why do I want to hear about how your child ate their first glue stick today?
4. People I have no clue where we met. Yes I actually have many of these, and if you aren't worth remembering the first time, I highly doubt the second time around.
5. Stalkers. You know who you are, and there is no need for me to allow this charade to continue, unless you beg on your knees and buy me nice gifts.
6. Highschool people I literally never talked to or actually hated back in the day. High school is over, thank god, and so is our fake acknowledgement of each other's existence on Facebook.
7. Annoying post-ers that think Facebook is Twitter. Different URLs people.
And last but not least...
8. Ex boyfriends, ex friends & assholes. Things ended for a reason and if you were of interest to begin with and nothing panned out, game over.
These individuals must most definitely be deleted from any person's profile. A number is exactly that, a number. It in no way describes how popular you are or how cool you are. Your life is the same whether you add every poor soul who asks to be friends or a mere number of 5 friends. Again with the lies. To what? Make ourselves feel better? Make others think we are worth knowing? My new life motto is prove it. If you say you snowboard, let's go. If you say you read, tell me about it. If you say you have 2,000 'friends', invite me to one hell of a party!
So anyone who reads this, please do yourself a favor and delete those so-called friends who you really don't care about. They and You deserve it.
Through my minor influence a friend of mine actually decided to go through his list of FB friends, just as I plan to do, and clean house. This friend began with well over 1,000 FB friends mind you, and half way through the alphabet actually had deleted approximately 300 friends. When asked which ones he deleted, he said the creepy ones, those with unrecognizable birthdays, and the ones that he randomly met and no longer really cared to keep in contact with.
This got me thinking about who I was going to delete when I got back on. Sadly as seen in my last posted video, if we all have 856 friends we are probably lying to ourselves and really only have 4. Four close friends that we actually make an effort to see, hangout with, ask for advice, or text during the week. Everyone else in my opinion is simply there for entertainment--for those moments when you are bored and welcome any distraction, whether it be a popping chat or an ant crawling up the side of your bedroom wall. Yes I just compared the insignificant 'filler' friends to ants. The people I am discussing are those who you really do not notice are gone until they post something worth reading. When evaluating my friendships I plan on deleting the following people:
1. People who I honestly do not know. I have no clue how they got added to my friends list in the first place and therefore should not be there, unless you're really cute.
2. People who added me just because we met once or have mutual friends--no that does not entitle you to a front seat ticket to my life; I merely was trying to stalk and judge you before I actually had to talk to you.
3. People with annoying posts about their children. I don't have any and don't plan on them anytime soon so why do I want to hear about how your child ate their first glue stick today?
4. People I have no clue where we met. Yes I actually have many of these, and if you aren't worth remembering the first time, I highly doubt the second time around.
5. Stalkers. You know who you are, and there is no need for me to allow this charade to continue, unless you beg on your knees and buy me nice gifts.
6. Highschool people I literally never talked to or actually hated back in the day. High school is over, thank god, and so is our fake acknowledgement of each other's existence on Facebook.
7. Annoying post-ers that think Facebook is Twitter. Different URLs people.
And last but not least...
8. Ex boyfriends, ex friends & assholes. Things ended for a reason and if you were of interest to begin with and nothing panned out, game over.
These individuals must most definitely be deleted from any person's profile. A number is exactly that, a number. It in no way describes how popular you are or how cool you are. Your life is the same whether you add every poor soul who asks to be friends or a mere number of 5 friends. Again with the lies. To what? Make ourselves feel better? Make others think we are worth knowing? My new life motto is prove it. If you say you snowboard, let's go. If you say you read, tell me about it. If you say you have 2,000 'friends', invite me to one hell of a party!
So anyone who reads this, please do yourself a favor and delete those so-called friends who you really don't care about. They and You deserve it.
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Day Something: Made a friend--not through Facebook
Being that I can no longer get on Facebook due to my personal restraint, I find other ways to fill my time, such as searching for random Youtube videos to entertain myself. While clicking away, I decided to explore what videos have been posted in light of Facebook itself, and found this wonderful person.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8UouP8cRYZ8
If you have a moment, feel free to be inspired by others besides myself, pointing out the fallacies of a social network and our 'images'. After watching this video it truly inspires me to take more and more off of my page to prevent the judging that others unknowingly pass. I've also decided that a cleaning up of my friends list will dutifully follow. I only wish that awareness of the lies we post online or our constant over indulgence, could be passed on to everyone on Facebook. I am beginning to feel sorry for everyone on this social website, meaning the entire world. My book was going to be written in hopes of enlightening others, but I fear that it wont make the impact I wish it could. Re-evaluation of self. Honesty as is life. Discretion. Real Experiences. These are a few of the things that I hope others take into consideration as they log-in to their pathetic virtual life.
I have a theory that one day the internet will crash, and send the whole world into utter chaos. Yes, a little over dramatic but fun to place consideration and open our eyes to our dependancy. What would we do without this form of communication? Will they one day create a diagnosis for Facebook symptoms, and administer drugs? What if the person you truly are, was presented for all to see--not the past you or the future you, but you? What if no one could sign into their Facebook accounts for one day? That would be the true test of who we are, who we really care about, and what means the most to us. But those days may not come tomorrow or a week from now; and many may never understand what life was like before Facebook, a fact which saddens me most. The virus has been downloaded. Th addiction in place. The poison surpassing through our veins. There is no turning back now and quickly the affects work through our lives and create avatars of people and who they want to be. Not who they are.
Perhaps one day I will Delete my Facebook account. The day I realize that it has nothing to offer me but emotional distress, free judgment from 'friends', impersonal updates to strangers about our private lives, and pure over analyzations of every posted detail. All in all, a distortion of reality that can never be seen clearly. Lies upon lies.
We're doomed.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8UouP8cRYZ8
If you have a moment, feel free to be inspired by others besides myself, pointing out the fallacies of a social network and our 'images'. After watching this video it truly inspires me to take more and more off of my page to prevent the judging that others unknowingly pass. I've also decided that a cleaning up of my friends list will dutifully follow. I only wish that awareness of the lies we post online or our constant over indulgence, could be passed on to everyone on Facebook. I am beginning to feel sorry for everyone on this social website, meaning the entire world. My book was going to be written in hopes of enlightening others, but I fear that it wont make the impact I wish it could. Re-evaluation of self. Honesty as is life. Discretion. Real Experiences. These are a few of the things that I hope others take into consideration as they log-in to their pathetic virtual life.
I have a theory that one day the internet will crash, and send the whole world into utter chaos. Yes, a little over dramatic but fun to place consideration and open our eyes to our dependancy. What would we do without this form of communication? Will they one day create a diagnosis for Facebook symptoms, and administer drugs? What if the person you truly are, was presented for all to see--not the past you or the future you, but you? What if no one could sign into their Facebook accounts for one day? That would be the true test of who we are, who we really care about, and what means the most to us. But those days may not come tomorrow or a week from now; and many may never understand what life was like before Facebook, a fact which saddens me most. The virus has been downloaded. Th addiction in place. The poison surpassing through our veins. There is no turning back now and quickly the affects work through our lives and create avatars of people and who they want to be. Not who they are.
Perhaps one day I will Delete my Facebook account. The day I realize that it has nothing to offer me but emotional distress, free judgment from 'friends', impersonal updates to strangers about our private lives, and pure over analyzations of every posted detail. All in all, a distortion of reality that can never be seen clearly. Lies upon lies.
We're doomed.
Friday, April 1, 2011
Day 23: Call me Dorothy.
So it appears Facebook has gotten me into trouble once more, I forgot a friend's Birthday. Oops. Ha. Nothing is better than getting a text that says, you never wished me Happy Birthday. My reply? Facebook didn't remind me, sorry. Honestly though I barely remember my sister's Birthday's let alone all of my friends! Ugh the trifles of an anti-social person.
The cravings come and go. Today I am entirely too bored at my place of work and the idea of living vicariously through others sounds very appealing. Isn't that what we are all doing when we 'Facebook' anyways? Funny how we are all aware of what everyone is doing, but the moment someone accuses us as being a stalker or a constant Facebook addict we immediately take offense and deny...well most of us anyways. lol Oh the images we must maintain.
Apparently word has broken out at work that I am on Facebook and of my challenge, therefore I have co-workers coming up to me telling me they added me. Of course I then have to explain that Im not currently online and then immediately review mentally what material is exposed to the world through my privacy settings. Again the mental side note to clean up my page when I return persists. Honestly I am beginning to find it alarming how much information people are really sharing with the world on a constant basis: trips, relationships, jobs, tragedies, private family moments, etc. Are there really any secret or private moments anymore? I still can not get over the amount of baby pictures others put up online or the fact that two of my friends made pages for their animals. Really people? It seems that these individuals are not getting enough attention and must therefore broaden their linkage to their felines and canines. Even inanimate objects seem to have pages...
So I suppose the focus for today is on the pathetic nature that some of us may develop while on Facebook. When in actuality the whole basis of this social network was to act as a visual phonebook using pictures of people's (humans) faces. Easy access to those in our lives. What do you think individuals from 100 years ago would think of our isolation and monitor-loving selves? Remember the good ol' days when two people would meet in an unlikely situation and pursue one another verbally by then setting up a place and time to meet up together later? Upon that moment one person would take a leap of faith and arrive at said location, early, as to not miss their chance and then... wait. The horrible, dreaded waiting game. Sometimes hours would go by and then the person would assume that the other was simply not interested. Now it seems that a simple 'de-friend', 2 second text message, or even lack of text messages suffices.
We survived perfectly fine prior to this phenomenon, why not now? We are constantly depending on a signal to connect us. What others fail to notice is that these profiles are not people. They are snapshots of time and details written in 100 characters or less. They are not what is true. Obsession is made over facades and poetic words, not reality--as brutal and honest and yes boring as it really is. But it's life. Now others expect entertainment from websites and televisions rather than create their own! Honestly, who cares where you are, what your doing, who you love? As long as you like yourself and are comfortable with your life, that is all that matters. But I suppose that is the issue. People notice social expectations, notice the image they must present in order to be accepted. And therefore, it is this need/want for acceptance that our lives become a constant narration and show for others to watch. Perhaps this in itself reveals the true reality, people are not satisfied with life anymore because of the high expectations, and have finally learned how to hide behind the curtain as the Wonderful Wizard of Oz putting on an act. The unveiling has yet to come, if ever...Where is Dorothy when you need her?
The cravings come and go. Today I am entirely too bored at my place of work and the idea of living vicariously through others sounds very appealing. Isn't that what we are all doing when we 'Facebook' anyways? Funny how we are all aware of what everyone is doing, but the moment someone accuses us as being a stalker or a constant Facebook addict we immediately take offense and deny...well most of us anyways. lol Oh the images we must maintain.
Apparently word has broken out at work that I am on Facebook and of my challenge, therefore I have co-workers coming up to me telling me they added me. Of course I then have to explain that Im not currently online and then immediately review mentally what material is exposed to the world through my privacy settings. Again the mental side note to clean up my page when I return persists. Honestly I am beginning to find it alarming how much information people are really sharing with the world on a constant basis: trips, relationships, jobs, tragedies, private family moments, etc. Are there really any secret or private moments anymore? I still can not get over the amount of baby pictures others put up online or the fact that two of my friends made pages for their animals. Really people? It seems that these individuals are not getting enough attention and must therefore broaden their linkage to their felines and canines. Even inanimate objects seem to have pages...
So I suppose the focus for today is on the pathetic nature that some of us may develop while on Facebook. When in actuality the whole basis of this social network was to act as a visual phonebook using pictures of people's (humans) faces. Easy access to those in our lives. What do you think individuals from 100 years ago would think of our isolation and monitor-loving selves? Remember the good ol' days when two people would meet in an unlikely situation and pursue one another verbally by then setting up a place and time to meet up together later? Upon that moment one person would take a leap of faith and arrive at said location, early, as to not miss their chance and then... wait. The horrible, dreaded waiting game. Sometimes hours would go by and then the person would assume that the other was simply not interested. Now it seems that a simple 'de-friend', 2 second text message, or even lack of text messages suffices.
We survived perfectly fine prior to this phenomenon, why not now? We are constantly depending on a signal to connect us. What others fail to notice is that these profiles are not people. They are snapshots of time and details written in 100 characters or less. They are not what is true. Obsession is made over facades and poetic words, not reality--as brutal and honest and yes boring as it really is. But it's life. Now others expect entertainment from websites and televisions rather than create their own! Honestly, who cares where you are, what your doing, who you love? As long as you like yourself and are comfortable with your life, that is all that matters. But I suppose that is the issue. People notice social expectations, notice the image they must present in order to be accepted. And therefore, it is this need/want for acceptance that our lives become a constant narration and show for others to watch. Perhaps this in itself reveals the true reality, people are not satisfied with life anymore because of the high expectations, and have finally learned how to hide behind the curtain as the Wonderful Wizard of Oz putting on an act. The unveiling has yet to come, if ever...Where is Dorothy when you need her?
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Day 21: Post me.
Facebook. Damn the word. Only 21 days?!? In the last 19 days since my most recent blog (I am very aware of my time away), I have attempted to avoid the computer as much as possible and the temptation it offers. I do not think many realize the social pressure to join this network and the countless reminders as to its presence. F*ck Facebook. Bitterness has set in to the point that I cringe whenever I hear the word--its everywhere. Movies, buses, websites, people, phones, television, billboards, radio, products, etc etc etc. Everywhere. It gnaws at you like an annoying pest, mocking the absence of my once welcomed drug.
So many opportunities have changed for myself in the passing weeks, for the worst. A few off the top of my head are dull yet surprisingly true. Contests require Facebook "likes", discounts/coupons require adding a page, people in general have shunned me because of my so called 'lack of communication'. My own close friends and family deliver updates and information late--finding out last that they were given a new promotion at work, canceled a big trip, surgery follow-ups, or their plans for the weekend. Ironically for not noticing these statuses, I get in trouble, because of my lack of response. I have found others holding me accountable for not acknowledging such important details despite their lack of personal outreach to me. My fault? Ha. Clearly my lack of membership has begun to exclude me socially and placed other's resentment on my actions.
Yet despite the accusations and ill thoughts towards my rehabilitation, I can honestly say I feel happier. Sounds corny I know, but I no longer see or dwell on what others are doing or not doing. I also have begun to cherish interaction/conversation much more. Especially knowing that, at least for new people I meet, I could very well not talk to this person again--unless we exchange phone numbers. I also do not check my Facebook during dinners or events, focusing on the people Im actually with. It is however getting annoying that I have to remind people that Im not on Facebook. Everyone just assumes that you are online and hopes that they can reach out to you there anytime. Not in my case, which actually limits my opportunities with others--narrowing the social window.
Another discovery is that Facebook is seemingly convenient for mass distribution of facts. Rather than call one person at a time, you post to the world and receive acknowledgment through comments and 'likes'. I find myself having to text and contact others on more occasions, soaking up more time. I wish I could ask those friends I have contacted if they feel we have progressed with our friendship or if it has remained constant since the switch. Is reaching out to a person one at time contribute to quality in relationships more so than Facebook or is this previous assumption incorrect?
While on my trip in Chicago 2 weeks ago (right after my leave of absence began) I indulged in the everyday pleasures of entertainment to distract me. Aka Alcohol. Now that my connections with others have dissipated, I urgently clung to the night life for interaction. Not to mention my lovely sister's assistance to forget my current situation. However, countless times that we were together she would check her Facebook, out of which she claims as a 'natural response'. Are we being programmed now to check intermittently what others think of our actions and thoughts? How exhausting! I will admit I find myself inquiring with others if they commented on my wall, merely because I want to know if anyone notices Im gone. Is this self reflection or a need to be socially recognized? I proceeded consecutively that week for my sister to check my FB--searching for a reaction from anyone, as if I threw a pebble into a pond awaiting the ripples.
Mentally I have also created a list. A list of things that I will do when I get back on to the social network. Pictures to post, new friends to add (which I have been writing down) and of course my new status upon my return. Status updates constantly linger in my head, wishing I could share my own life experiences and thoughts with others. While sitting at the airport, eating dinner with friends, or having an embarrassing or crazy moment--I now find myself living it alone. A question I began to ask myself was, does it still mean as much if I know that no one will know what Im doing. Then again because of the globalization factor involved with Facebook, somehow others have still included me in the actions. With this in mind I would recommend already based on my experience, that if you plan on leaving Facebook for long periods of time, deactivate your account. Others still have control of the image you are emitting and very easily can post content you do not wish to be posted and not of your own accord. I myself even hired my sister to periodically check the content on my page, to avoid any hinderances on my virtual self. My avatar must retain the initial intended persona, untainted.
I also recognized that our need to share details may very well be for attention on some level, but that most of the items I have pondered of documenting, are simply in hopes of creating a smile, enlightening someone, or creating a laugh in the person who reads it. The point in sharing some of my own personal life experiences is therefore to enrich the lives of others. Jokes or shocking news reports I hear I wish I could share to inform those listed as my so-called friends. (Mentally noting the Google Translate post and a comment regarding the 8.9 Earthquake in Japan, I very much so wanted to update my status on.) As a side note the information I post about myself could very well be to maintain an image or get a reaction out of people so I emotionally feel better. Selfishness.
In addition to these perhaps minor but equally important realizations, I find myself having to describe things much more now. In a social conversation if a friend doesn't know who I am talking about I can no longer pull up their picture on mobile Facebook. If I forgot my phone at work and didn't remember the numbers I needed--Facebook could have offered a listing, chat or a message option. Without this website, I am SOL much of the time when it comes to communicating. I've therefore had to reach out to others to get information relayed.
So all in all I am slowly realizing the many opportunities for socialization it offers as well as its hinderances. I still periodically get cravings to get online and find myself looking for more things to entertain me on a daily basis. Still have three weeks to go and the days could not go faster before I can feel included in the lives of those around me, once again. Tick Tock.
So many opportunities have changed for myself in the passing weeks, for the worst. A few off the top of my head are dull yet surprisingly true. Contests require Facebook "likes", discounts/coupons require adding a page, people in general have shunned me because of my so called 'lack of communication'. My own close friends and family deliver updates and information late--finding out last that they were given a new promotion at work, canceled a big trip, surgery follow-ups, or their plans for the weekend. Ironically for not noticing these statuses, I get in trouble, because of my lack of response. I have found others holding me accountable for not acknowledging such important details despite their lack of personal outreach to me. My fault? Ha. Clearly my lack of membership has begun to exclude me socially and placed other's resentment on my actions.
Yet despite the accusations and ill thoughts towards my rehabilitation, I can honestly say I feel happier. Sounds corny I know, but I no longer see or dwell on what others are doing or not doing. I also have begun to cherish interaction/conversation much more. Especially knowing that, at least for new people I meet, I could very well not talk to this person again--unless we exchange phone numbers. I also do not check my Facebook during dinners or events, focusing on the people Im actually with. It is however getting annoying that I have to remind people that Im not on Facebook. Everyone just assumes that you are online and hopes that they can reach out to you there anytime. Not in my case, which actually limits my opportunities with others--narrowing the social window.
Another discovery is that Facebook is seemingly convenient for mass distribution of facts. Rather than call one person at a time, you post to the world and receive acknowledgment through comments and 'likes'. I find myself having to text and contact others on more occasions, soaking up more time. I wish I could ask those friends I have contacted if they feel we have progressed with our friendship or if it has remained constant since the switch. Is reaching out to a person one at time contribute to quality in relationships more so than Facebook or is this previous assumption incorrect?
While on my trip in Chicago 2 weeks ago (right after my leave of absence began) I indulged in the everyday pleasures of entertainment to distract me. Aka Alcohol. Now that my connections with others have dissipated, I urgently clung to the night life for interaction. Not to mention my lovely sister's assistance to forget my current situation. However, countless times that we were together she would check her Facebook, out of which she claims as a 'natural response'. Are we being programmed now to check intermittently what others think of our actions and thoughts? How exhausting! I will admit I find myself inquiring with others if they commented on my wall, merely because I want to know if anyone notices Im gone. Is this self reflection or a need to be socially recognized? I proceeded consecutively that week for my sister to check my FB--searching for a reaction from anyone, as if I threw a pebble into a pond awaiting the ripples.
Mentally I have also created a list. A list of things that I will do when I get back on to the social network. Pictures to post, new friends to add (which I have been writing down) and of course my new status upon my return. Status updates constantly linger in my head, wishing I could share my own life experiences and thoughts with others. While sitting at the airport, eating dinner with friends, or having an embarrassing or crazy moment--I now find myself living it alone. A question I began to ask myself was, does it still mean as much if I know that no one will know what Im doing. Then again because of the globalization factor involved with Facebook, somehow others have still included me in the actions. With this in mind I would recommend already based on my experience, that if you plan on leaving Facebook for long periods of time, deactivate your account. Others still have control of the image you are emitting and very easily can post content you do not wish to be posted and not of your own accord. I myself even hired my sister to periodically check the content on my page, to avoid any hinderances on my virtual self. My avatar must retain the initial intended persona, untainted.
I also recognized that our need to share details may very well be for attention on some level, but that most of the items I have pondered of documenting, are simply in hopes of creating a smile, enlightening someone, or creating a laugh in the person who reads it. The point in sharing some of my own personal life experiences is therefore to enrich the lives of others. Jokes or shocking news reports I hear I wish I could share to inform those listed as my so-called friends. (Mentally noting the Google Translate post and a comment regarding the 8.9 Earthquake in Japan, I very much so wanted to update my status on.) As a side note the information I post about myself could very well be to maintain an image or get a reaction out of people so I emotionally feel better. Selfishness.
In addition to these perhaps minor but equally important realizations, I find myself having to describe things much more now. In a social conversation if a friend doesn't know who I am talking about I can no longer pull up their picture on mobile Facebook. If I forgot my phone at work and didn't remember the numbers I needed--Facebook could have offered a listing, chat or a message option. Without this website, I am SOL much of the time when it comes to communicating. I've therefore had to reach out to others to get information relayed.
So all in all I am slowly realizing the many opportunities for socialization it offers as well as its hinderances. I still periodically get cravings to get online and find myself looking for more things to entertain me on a daily basis. Still have three weeks to go and the days could not go faster before I can feel included in the lives of those around me, once again. Tick Tock.
Friday, March 11, 2011
Day 2: Please, just this once...
I had another creepy and weird Facebook dream, ironic how prior to this experiment I never had any of these. I suppose it goes to show that once you can’t have something you want it even more—even subconsciously. Luckily today I was extremely busy, to the point that signing on and checking to see who “liked” my pictures or status, was barely noticed. However, in between my blurbs of work, every moment of calm was replaced with that of the urge to check my damn page. Starting to realize that my life truly was centered on Facebook. How sad is that?
Now I understand that not everyone is this way and honestly if asked I would have said hell no I am not reliant on Facebook—I can quit anytime. Ha. Oh the lies we tell ourselves. While conducting interviews regarding this experiment, a friend of mine even said, “Why not delete your page completely”. Delete my wwwhat? Why would I want to do that? Again, confirming my addiction. But yet he has a point, there is a complete difference between abandoning your page for a few weeks versus knowing it can never be viewed by anyone ever again—literally erasing your virtual existence. All I could think about when given this suggestion was all the time and energy I had put into creating my page aka image. All those pictures unsaved, all the comments documented in history, all the friends contact information. Gone. Seems like a waste to leave behind, does it not? Immediately defending why I should only temporarily take a break. Little did I know he had deleted his a while back, standing by his decision.
In the midst of my troubles today I also noticed my need to ask everyone and anyone about Facebook. It became a goal to talk about it whenever possible, as if that would deplete my need. I also got to the point of asking my sister to check my page. Is that constituted as cheating? Ha. I begged her that this would be a one-time occurrence. Well truth be told she did not tell me anything other than the fact that she checked my page. Curiosity is a powerful tool and curse.
Ironically as I have given up using Facebook, one starts to notice how often it is surrounding us in our daily lives. Almost as a subliminal message. On the radio this morning on my way to work they advertised the station on the website. Then at work my co-worker made a joke regarding his friend and his Facebook page. Later, my friend mentioned the humor of putting something on Facebook as a joke, and then on my way to the airport not only did my ride mention something he read on Facebook regarding his friend, but the airline advertised it as well. I feel as if I’m being haunted by the one thing I cant have. With this in mind, it seems that people use Facebook as a huge reference piece to talk about. It is the ‘go to’ in conversation With on average I would assume to be over 200 friends each, we have that many ‘stories’ to share and utilize in normal conversation.
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Day 1: Why??
As the clock struck midnight I took one last glance at the screen and then logged off for my long and dreaded 40 day marathon. Instantaneously I realized my own solitude and the ugly brown color of my bedroom walls. Why did I do this again?? The first question that popped into my head as I struggled to answer. Oh yes to prove something to someone in hopes of doing that one thing. However despite my sudden emptiness, I immediately felt free. No one to impress or avoid, no comments I'd have to comment back to, no pokes to click, etc.. It was as if I had just quit a part-time job and was given numerous hours in a day to do whatever the hell I wanted. The chains were revoked.
Funny enough, once word got around of my last post or "note" regarding my brilliant idea to challenge myself, the reactions from others was quite entertaining. My chat box was probably the busiest it has been in awhile as simultaneously I held at least 7 conversations explaining my reasoning behind my actions. Everyone was trying to get in one last conversation with me as if I were dying, regardless of the fact that we rarely ever chatted in the first place. Ha. Questions or comments of FB friends included that of, how will I get ahold of you, what will you do, and my personal favorite I will miss you. This will be key to my book reference, that act of missing someone who really isn't even there. Now many will probably take slight comfort in the fact that my photo and information is still posted, but the key component is that that in itself is not ME. Its a picture of me and some descriptors of what I want to represent myself as. People wont miss ME, they will miss the idea of me as well as the opportunity of potential instant connection. Forgetting about that thing that Graham Bell created.
Moving on to my first day, as with any usual day, the urges to sign on came and went-- what I would assume to be the usual cravings of any addict in my position. Some may say that simply by keeping this memoir of thoughts I am still contributing and yet still attached to the social network. Yes perhaps, but by not allowing others to comment or even know 'who' is associated with viewing my information, I am still confined to my own existence void of direct judgment. Hence the social experiment at hand. If no one can see me, hear me or stalk (aka 'follow') me, do I still exist. Kind of like the philosophical question that most people have heard: If a tree falls in the forest, and no one is around to hear it, does it still make a noise?
I find myself more motivated than ever to make it the 40 days, hoping I really do not need Facebook. I actually feel that it should get easier with each coming day...or at least hope so. After all, why on earth would I need to know what everyone I have ever possibly met in the last few years is doing everyday? The important people in my life who I allow to influence me should be the ones I have 'real-life' contact with and should not be hindered by this charade.
So the question continues on...Why do we feel we need Facebook? Can we feel a part of something bigger without actually being a part of a website that is well known and often visited? Can I abandon everyone I call my 'friend' in that virtual world? And can I make it the next month and a half, without even finding a use for Facebook that I do not already have access to? I believe at this point, it all comes down to the acceptance of being okay with the fact that I could very well be a Nobody. Yet when will that time come when I recognize my own literal social status? Especially when even as we speak a countdown on my desktop inches towards the day where I can sign on to that perfect shade of blue and ### Friends to see those little red flags, screaming "Welcome home Juliet".
Funny enough, once word got around of my last post or "note" regarding my brilliant idea to challenge myself, the reactions from others was quite entertaining. My chat box was probably the busiest it has been in awhile as simultaneously I held at least 7 conversations explaining my reasoning behind my actions. Everyone was trying to get in one last conversation with me as if I were dying, regardless of the fact that we rarely ever chatted in the first place. Ha. Questions or comments of FB friends included that of, how will I get ahold of you, what will you do, and my personal favorite I will miss you. This will be key to my book reference, that act of missing someone who really isn't even there. Now many will probably take slight comfort in the fact that my photo and information is still posted, but the key component is that that in itself is not ME. Its a picture of me and some descriptors of what I want to represent myself as. People wont miss ME, they will miss the idea of me as well as the opportunity of potential instant connection. Forgetting about that thing that Graham Bell created.
Moving on to my first day, as with any usual day, the urges to sign on came and went-- what I would assume to be the usual cravings of any addict in my position. Some may say that simply by keeping this memoir of thoughts I am still contributing and yet still attached to the social network. Yes perhaps, but by not allowing others to comment or even know 'who' is associated with viewing my information, I am still confined to my own existence void of direct judgment. Hence the social experiment at hand. If no one can see me, hear me or stalk (aka 'follow') me, do I still exist. Kind of like the philosophical question that most people have heard: If a tree falls in the forest, and no one is around to hear it, does it still make a noise?
I find myself more motivated than ever to make it the 40 days, hoping I really do not need Facebook. I actually feel that it should get easier with each coming day...or at least hope so. After all, why on earth would I need to know what everyone I have ever possibly met in the last few years is doing everyday? The important people in my life who I allow to influence me should be the ones I have 'real-life' contact with and should not be hindered by this charade.
So the question continues on...Why do we feel we need Facebook? Can we feel a part of something bigger without actually being a part of a website that is well known and often visited? Can I abandon everyone I call my 'friend' in that virtual world? And can I make it the next month and a half, without even finding a use for Facebook that I do not already have access to? I believe at this point, it all comes down to the acceptance of being okay with the fact that I could very well be a Nobody. Yet when will that time come when I recognize my own literal social status? Especially when even as we speak a countdown on my desktop inches towards the day where I can sign on to that perfect shade of blue and ### Friends to see those little red flags, screaming "Welcome home Juliet".
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