I had another creepy and weird Facebook dream, ironic how prior to this experiment I never had any of these. I suppose it goes to show that once you can’t have something you want it even more—even subconsciously. Luckily today I was extremely busy, to the point that signing on and checking to see who “liked” my pictures or status, was barely noticed. However, in between my blurbs of work, every moment of calm was replaced with that of the urge to check my damn page. Starting to realize that my life truly was centered on Facebook. How sad is that?
Now I understand that not everyone is this way and honestly if asked I would have said hell no I am not reliant on Facebook—I can quit anytime. Ha. Oh the lies we tell ourselves. While conducting interviews regarding this experiment, a friend of mine even said, “Why not delete your page completely”. Delete my wwwhat? Why would I want to do that? Again, confirming my addiction. But yet he has a point, there is a complete difference between abandoning your page for a few weeks versus knowing it can never be viewed by anyone ever again—literally erasing your virtual existence. All I could think about when given this suggestion was all the time and energy I had put into creating my page aka image. All those pictures unsaved, all the comments documented in history, all the friends contact information. Gone. Seems like a waste to leave behind, does it not? Immediately defending why I should only temporarily take a break. Little did I know he had deleted his a while back, standing by his decision.
In the midst of my troubles today I also noticed my need to ask everyone and anyone about Facebook. It became a goal to talk about it whenever possible, as if that would deplete my need. I also got to the point of asking my sister to check my page. Is that constituted as cheating? Ha. I begged her that this would be a one-time occurrence. Well truth be told she did not tell me anything other than the fact that she checked my page. Curiosity is a powerful tool and curse.
Ironically as I have given up using Facebook, one starts to notice how often it is surrounding us in our daily lives. Almost as a subliminal message. On the radio this morning on my way to work they advertised the station on the website. Then at work my co-worker made a joke regarding his friend and his Facebook page. Later, my friend mentioned the humor of putting something on Facebook as a joke, and then on my way to the airport not only did my ride mention something he read on Facebook regarding his friend, but the airline advertised it as well. I feel as if I’m being haunted by the one thing I cant have. With this in mind, it seems that people use Facebook as a huge reference piece to talk about. It is the ‘go to’ in conversation With on average I would assume to be over 200 friends each, we have that many ‘stories’ to share and utilize in normal conversation.
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