So many opportunities have changed for myself in the passing weeks, for the worst. A few off the top of my head are dull yet surprisingly true. Contests require Facebook "likes", discounts/coupons require adding a page, people in general have shunned me because of my so called 'lack of communication'. My own close friends and family deliver updates and information late--finding out last that they were given a new promotion at work, canceled a big trip, surgery follow-ups, or their plans for the weekend. Ironically for not noticing these statuses, I get in trouble, because of my lack of response. I have found others holding me accountable for not acknowledging such important details despite their lack of personal outreach to me. My fault? Ha. Clearly my lack of membership has begun to exclude me socially and placed other's resentment on my actions.
Yet despite the accusations and ill thoughts towards my rehabilitation, I can honestly say I feel happier. Sounds corny I know, but I no longer see or dwell on what others are doing or not doing. I also have begun to cherish interaction/conversation much more. Especially knowing that, at least for new people I meet, I could very well not talk to this person again--unless we exchange phone numbers. I also do not check my Facebook during dinners or events, focusing on the people Im actually with. It is however getting annoying that I have to remind people that Im not on Facebook. Everyone just assumes that you are online and hopes that they can reach out to you there anytime. Not in my case, which actually limits my opportunities with others--narrowing the social window.
Another discovery is that Facebook is seemingly convenient for mass distribution of facts. Rather than call one person at a time, you post to the world and receive acknowledgment through comments and 'likes'. I find myself having to text and contact others on more occasions, soaking up more time. I wish I could ask those friends I have contacted if they feel we have progressed with our friendship or if it has remained constant since the switch. Is reaching out to a person one at time contribute to quality in relationships more so than Facebook or is this previous assumption incorrect?
While on my trip in Chicago 2 weeks ago (right after my leave of absence began) I indulged in the everyday pleasures of entertainment to distract me. Aka Alcohol. Now that my connections with others have dissipated, I urgently clung to the night life for interaction. Not to mention my lovely sister's assistance to forget my current situation. However, countless times that we were together she would check her Facebook, out of which she claims as a 'natural response'. Are we being programmed now to check intermittently what others think of our actions and thoughts? How exhausting! I will admit I find myself inquiring with others if they commented on my wall, merely because I want to know if anyone notices Im gone. Is this self reflection or a need to be socially recognized? I proceeded consecutively that week for my sister to check my FB--searching for a reaction from anyone, as if I threw a pebble into a pond awaiting the ripples.
Mentally I have also created a list. A list of things that I will do when I get back on to the social network. Pictures to post, new friends to add (which I have been writing down) and of course my new status upon my return. Status updates constantly linger in my head, wishing I could share my own life experiences and thoughts with others. While sitting at the airport, eating dinner with friends, or having an embarrassing or crazy moment--I now find myself living it alone. A question I began to ask myself was, does it still mean as much if I know that no one will know what Im doing. Then again because of the globalization factor involved with Facebook, somehow others have still included me in the actions. With this in mind I would recommend already based on my experience, that if you plan on leaving Facebook for long periods of time, deactivate your account. Others still have control of the image you are emitting and very easily can post content you do not wish to be posted and not of your own accord. I myself even hired my sister to periodically check the content on my page, to avoid any hinderances on my virtual self. My avatar must retain the initial intended persona, untainted.
I also recognized that our need to share details may very well be for attention on some level, but that most of the items I have pondered of documenting, are simply in hopes of creating a smile, enlightening someone, or creating a laugh in the person who reads it. The point in sharing some of my own personal life experiences is therefore to enrich the lives of others. Jokes or shocking news reports I hear I wish I could share to inform those listed as my so-called friends. (Mentally noting the Google Translate post and a comment regarding the 8.9 Earthquake in Japan, I very much so wanted to update my status on.) As a side note the information I post about myself could very well be to maintain an image or get a reaction out of people so I emotionally feel better. Selfishness.
In addition to these perhaps minor but equally important realizations, I find myself having to describe things much more now. In a social conversation if a friend doesn't know who I am talking about I can no longer pull up their picture on mobile Facebook. If I forgot my phone at work and didn't remember the numbers I needed--Facebook could have offered a listing, chat or a message option. Without this website, I am SOL much of the time when it comes to communicating. I've therefore had to reach out to others to get information relayed.
So all in all I am slowly realizing the many opportunities for socialization it offers as well as its hinderances. I still periodically get cravings to get online and find myself looking for more things to entertain me on a daily basis. Still have three weeks to go and the days could not go faster before I can feel included in the lives of those around me, once again. Tick Tock.
